Saturday, July 30, 2011

Baseball Season Has Been Murdered

A trial date has not yet been set for the Baltimore Orioles who have been accused of murdering the baseball season. 

The evidence is overwhelmingly stacked against them, including, but not limmited to:
  • 17 runs surrendered through 8 innings in New York tonight.
  • Horrible ownership.
  • A GM who just can't seem to get a winner on the field despite his past success elsewhere.
  • What seems like 150 years since having a winning record
  • Never having a team ERA under 96.23
  • Beating the Blue Jays only twice in Toronto in their last 75 games there.
  • Dating ugly women.
  • Playing a quality of baseball that closely resembles what your body produces after eating undercooked chicken.
  • Watching the Jersey Shore (and secretly wanting to kiss Snooki).

 In a fictitious statement from the recently traded Koji Uehara, he might as well have stated, "Ninjen, karera wa hontoni suu!" When translated to English (using Google Translator) means, "Man, they really suck!"

Orioles legends like Robinson, Robinson, Ripken, Murray, Palmer, Sam Horn, Dempsey, and Floyd Rayford all agree that they would now like to be associated with the Asheville Tourists until such time as the Orioles decide to make things right.  This could clearly take a long time as the sentence they are sure to receive for murdering the baseball season, will likely be a long one

No trial needed if you ask me...GUILTY!!!!

I will never stop rooting for them.....I guess I get the punishment for it that I deserve....Thank goodness football is almost here!


  1. I don't know which is worse: the Orioles the past few years or the Royals the past 25 years? However, like you, I will never stop cheering for them. Keep the faith!

  2. I am in the same boat with my Rockies this year (well minus April that was great). Plus I went through the 1990s with the Chicago Bears and that was unpleasant. I wish the Orioles would start winning again just so ESPN might shut up about the Yankees and Red Sox for a minute or two.

  3. I have felt many years of the same pain as a Mets fan. I also agree with you on the ESPN ramming Yanks and Sox down our throat for way too long now.

  4. Thanks for the shoulder to cry on fellas. I will never give up on them, but it seems like they gave up years ago.

  5. It could be worse. You could be a Cubs bleacher bum. Or a casual Giants fan. Those are the worst.

    The first thing I thought while reading your post: "Snooki want smush smush!"

    Ripken gave up on the Orioles and bought his own minor league teams several years ago.

    Don't worry, things will turn around eventually. I mean, the Giants won a World Series for the first time in 50-something years. It can be done.

  6. You should update this to include the personification of fail - Kevin Gregg.

  7. Yeah the Orioles suck, but they have history, and a pretty good one. That is what keeps me going,

    Oh, favorite player...Randy White.